My dear friend Miss Smith
Or soon to be Mrs Russell.
Yes she is the last person I ever expected to get hitched.
And with 6 months to plan her autumn wedding!
Have been promised that my bridesmaid dress will be dark red velvet and I will actually look hot in it. Well I was hoping that I wouldn’t have to look like a cream puff. But I could do with hot.
And being the sweetheart that she is, she’s promised that that stupid tradition of throwing the bride’s bouquet will be axed. Yes axed.
Instead, the bride (and groom) will be passing around condoms. So that everyone can drink and be merry. There will be copious amounts of alcohol.
And yes that dumb tradition is rather annoying. If you are single, it highlights the fact that you are 27 AND still single. Therefore something must be wrong. If you are in a relationship, well dude doesn’t want to marry you. Yet. Again, something must be wrong. Add in a couple of old relatives and there’s your excuse to get plastered.
Recently my aunt got married and the number of relatives on my case was unbelievable. "Where’s your boyfriend?" (Jo smiles and takes a sip from her wine glass). "When are you getting married?" (Jo smiles and takes a huge gulp from her wine glass) "You are not getting any younger you know." (Jo drinks straight from the bottle).
But from the sound of Miss Smith (soon to be Mrs. Russell)’s voice, it’s unbelievable how happy she is. This is the girl who will pull at least 4 guys a night. Who is always up for a night out. Who shouts "Man alive" each time a hot, I want to get into his pants,have 10 of his children guy walks into the room.
She told me that she is so glad to have found a Great man and not have to play silly infantile games with all the tossers out there.
