Jo’s Blog

Me and my big mouth.

I thought it was all over. Enjoy my month long holiday and the rest of 2006. Make some resolutions for 2007 - be strong, move out and live the life of a swinging single.

Something happened with someone from my past which has now made me very very confused. I don’t really know how to deal with it as I don’t know how to categorise it. It’s not a relationship, it’s not just friends. Well maybe it is just friends and as usual I’m wearing my heart on my sleeve. But whatever it is, it’s nice. And yes I am quite sad that it’s ending. I will come back again and he might still be single but it might not be the same. So yes, like he says, just enjoy it for the moment. No I never planned it. And the only person who’s going to get their heart broken will be me. Again.

Then Mr. Housemate decides to become all wonderful and loving. And we all know that he has finally made a decision. A very very scary decision (for me). A decision that I will not be able to honour. Because I don’t think I am in love with him anymore.

And Mr. Married man stop texting me because it makes me want to cut my holiday short, get on a plane, go to Finchamstead and kick you in the balls.

So yes, me and my big mouth. I wanted a more complicated love life and my wish was granted. Married man, ex-boyfriend and the man that I live with.

So resolutions for 2007 is to stop wearing my heart on my sleeve, work hard, play hard and actually exercise.

Text from 21 year old:

"How’s the sunbathing going? Remember you promised, no tan lines…"

Arrrggggghhhh……And I think to myself. Why not. The situation’s already so complicated.

I could spend hours listening to random music…..

Yes hours and hours locked up in my room listening to Jewel, Joe Cocker, Abba and Janis Jopling.

Now I can’t find any time to do it. And even if I do….I can’t fucking sit still, get all fidgety and have to find something to do. Like clean the toilet or iron his clothes.

I could spend hours talking on the phone….

Gossiping with friends - who likes who, who’s doing ‘it’, how strict parents are etc etc.

Now its too depressing as any news is usually about someone getting married, having babies, buying houses. You know. Adult stuff.

I am so glad to be back in Penang….Pity 21 year old is so far away. I got a text message from him today, complaining about the cold. Someone please break it to the boy that its really too fucking hot here.